Happy Halloween

Today was my last Halloween with Colton before he leaves.  It was a good one!  Accept I had school and it was pointless to go to!  Coming home from school, I went straight to Colton's.  As I walked up to his cute house I took a second to think of how many great memories I have of this green house right in front of me.  I took a big breath trying not to cry and silently knocked on his door.  His beautiful mom opened the door in her cute costume.  She was Raggedy Anne.  It is always chaos in Colton's home.  All of his siblings are over and there are people right from left.  I like it since I am the only child living at home right now.  It gets a bit lonely.  Colton, Alicia, Tanner, and I all went to Peterson's and bought stuff to make spider cider (Colton made it up), it consists of, Seven Up, and.... Fruit Punch!  Oh, and dry ice of course. After that, Colton and I went to Cafe Rio (I need to stop eating out so much!).  We got back to his house and watched a scary movie.  It is really hard for me to watch scary movies because I get scared very easily but I thought I would give it a try on Halloween.  Half way through the movie I knew I was going to be scared tonight so I lied on Colton's lap and studied his face.  

He is so handsome to me.  Others may not see it, but to me he is perfect.  I love his green eyes outlined with his dark eyelashes, his full lips, his round nose, his perfect hair, his height (he is 6'3 almost 6'4), and most of all, I love how he can always make me smile!  Colton is truly my best friend.  It's crazy to me to think that.  Never before could I understand how a boy could become my true best friend.  Now that I know that feeling, I don't want to lose it.  Colton looked down at me and knew I was scared so he covered my ears.  I suddenly fell into my own thoughts of how he won't be here to cover my ears next time I am scared... I have become such an emotional case lately!  Every time I am at his house I think to myself that soon I will be sitting on his couch but this time, he won't be sitting next to me.  It breaks my heart and I don't know why I do that to myself, but I can't stop.  

Colton and I ended up going upstairs so I wouldn't have to watch the movie.  He was tired so he just lied down on my lap and he asked me when he think our last kiss should be and it stabbed me in the heart.  I didn't want to think about kissing him and knowing that would be our last kiss until two years... We just told each other that as long as it's not inappropriate, we can kiss until he leaves. While he had his eyes closed, I started to cry.  I was holding his precious face in my arms, his face was so precious to me that moment.  He is so precious to me. I know things will be hard and I know they will continue to be hard, but I also know, somehow... it'll all be okay.  Happy Halloween everyone! 

A Bunch of Mumble Jumble

So Saturday Colton and I went to Gardner Village.  It was packed since it was Witchfest?  We got a caramel apple (which were way over priced) and then stopped at a few stores. It was fun:)  After, we went to Brick Oven Pizza (it was delish! I am supposed to be on a diet tho:/).  We went back to Colton's and watched Domesday Prophecy, lets just say it was a low budget film.  It was an over all great night:)  

Today (Monday)  I went to work and was just really sad... In my head I kept thinking my world will be over in a couple of months.  I feel so alone and confused about everything.  Satan was definitely taking over my mind.  Everything was just really negative.  I feel I have no friend accept Colton and I don't know what I'm going to do when he is gone.  I feel like I am going to be so sad that I will completely lose who I am.  The people at my table definitely knew something was wrong.  I wanted to just cry the whole time.  Then I looked up and saw Colton smiling and laughing with all of his friends at work and it suddenly hit me.  All I want is for Colton to be happy and feel good about going on his mission.  He can't do all of that if I am going to sit in the corner and feel bad for myself.  So I told myself, no matter how hard these next couple of months and the months after he is gone will be, I will try my best to be as positive and as happy as I can be for Colton.  I don't want to think about myself and my problems anymore, I really just want to serve others! 

When I got home from work, I said a prayer that I can get the angry and sad thoughts out of my head and to fill it with loving and joyful thoughts.  I then went running and it helped a lot.  I LOVE running! It makes everything better haha.  So here I am on my couch writing and thinking to myself, "I have no idea where I am going to be in the next few months, I probably won't have any friends, I'm sure I will be sad, and school will be hard, but for some reason I have a smile on my face because I KNOW Heavenly Father will help me and will fill in all the blanks in my life.  I just HAVE to be strong, have faith, and serve others. 

That Feeling

This morning I woke up to snow falling down on the ground (I was so happy)! I absolutely love winter all because of Colton:)  

Mine and Colton's first date was over winter break.  We went ice skating with his cousin.  He was super awkward but made me laugh so hard!  The second I got into the car while huge butterflies were jumping all around my stomach, the first thing Colton said was, "You know I don't have my license right?"  and I just froze thinking for a second he was telling the truth.  Then I realized he was only kidding and we all started laughing.  After we were ice skating Colton and I went back to his house to watch a movie, "Fight Club" (don't worry, it was edited).  I met his family and the second I was in his house I felt at home.  After sitting 3 feet away from each other during the movie, Colton took me home and gave me the most awkward but the cutest hug then drove back home.  That night I fell asleep watching snow fall outside my window.

Colton invited me to his family party to celebrate New Years Eve.  I was so excited and got super dressed up and wore my hair curly.  I wanted his family to think I was the most beautiful girl ever (which I'm far form being), and empress them with my manners.  We laughed and played games all night!  I was sweating a lot because I was so nervous but so excited to be with Colton!  After dinner, Colton, his little brother, and I got dressed up in snow gear and went outside to play.  Colton and I were wrestling each other and flirting big time ;)  It was the best day of my life!  I couldn't have been more happy.  That night I went to bed while the snow sang me to sleep.

Colton asked me to "be his girlfriend" January 1 2011.  The next time we hung out I was heading out to go home.  When I got to my car (I took my sisters car) the doors were frozen and wouldn't shut.  Colton and his sister drove with me while they held the doors shut.  When we reached my house we all got into my car so I could take them home.  There was snow EVERYWHERE and my car wouldn't move.  Colton and his sister both got out and pushed my car two blocks, suddenly, I realized that my emergency break was on and that's what was keeping my car form moving!  I felt like the biggest idiot. That night I went to bed watching the snow laugh in my face. 

Snowboarding?  What?  Me?  I could never snowboard! but Colton wouldn't take no for an answer.  He took me snowboarding three times at the Canyons.  It was a blast but very intimidating and frustrating, but good thing I had a good teacher. :)  I loved snowboarding!  I wanted to become super good at it and impress him (definitely didn't happen) but I tried my best. That night I fell asleep sliding down a mountain of snow.

As you can see, I have a lot of memories with Colton and snow.  That's why days like today, when it snows, I get that feeling that brings back all the butterflies and all the senses of when Colton and I first met. I love that feeling.

I Need thee Every Hour

I have noticed that each day gets harder and harder.  I keep thinking that I only have Colton left for a couple more months.  It gets me thinking of not being with him for two years.  I think the thing that will be most hard is not being able to talk to him whenever I want, or about all my problems, but worse of all... he won't be able to hold me when I cry or am down.  That is when I will need Heavenly Father most.  Today while I was getting ready for school, I started singing "I Need thee Every Hour"  It comforted me and it helped me realize that Heavenly Father will not leave Colton and I alone.  He will always be with us no matter where we are or what our circumstances are. Heavenly Father, I need thee every hour.


"I Need Thee Every Hour"

1. I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
   No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.
   • Refrain:
     I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;
     Every hour I need Thee;
     Oh, bless me now, my Savior,
     I come to Thee.
2. I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;
   Temptations lose their pow’r when Thou art nigh.
3. I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
   Come quickly and abide, or life is vain.
4. I need Thee every hour; teach me Thy will;
   And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.
5. I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;
   Oh, make me Thine indeed, Thou blessed Son.

Hello Yellowstone

This weekend I went to Yellowstone with Colton's family!  It was a blast!  I have only been on a few vacations with Colton, but this one was probably my last (for two years).  I love how he can make me laugh even when I want to be angry.  Each day I appreciate Colon more and more.  I am so grateful for the friendship we have and for his love.  

Colton bought me a beautiful necklace while we were in Yellowstone, I am going to wear it everyday while he is gone so I can always have him with me (sounds cheesy I know) but this tiny, beautiful necklace means so much to me.  

The cabin we stayed in was beautiful! It had five bedrooms and three bathrooms.  Tanner (Colton's little brother) and I slept in the same room since we get so scared easily haha.  The animals we spotted were: Buffalo, Deer, Antelope, Elk, Big Horn Sheep, Bald Eagle, and to top off the trip, we saw a Wolf!  Colton also turned in his papers today! I wonder how fast he will be able to get his call!

I am very grateful I was able to come on this trip.  I love Colton and his family so much!  I feel so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life, and I hope I can keep them forever!

My necklace :)

This picture made us all pee our pants

On the way there!

We make an attractive couple

Surprise!

Last night, Colton surprised me with flowers and the cutest card ever!  It definitely made my night and he made sure to buy me blue flowers since blue is my favorite color :) Colton has all of his paper work ready and waiting to be turned in!  I am so excited for him to find out where and when he will be leaving!  Right now i'm excited for it all to happen but I know what lies ahead of me... :/ I just need to continue to be positive, support him, and keep the commandments.   Heavenly Father will do the rest:)

He is a Falling Leaf

Colton and I <3

          It is impossible to count how many leaves fall off of a tree each year.  Why do leaves fall off trees? When the weather starts to change and gets cooler, those changes trigger a hormone in leaf- dropping trees that sends a chemical message to every leaf saying, "Time to get out of here!"  Once the message is received, little cells appear at the place where the leaf stem meets the branch.  They are called "abscission" cells. These cells are designed like scissors to make a cut. Within a few days or weeks every leaf on these trees develop a thin bumpy line of cells that push the leaf, bit by bit, away from the stem.  Finally breeze comes along and finishes the job.  Trees have an option to keep their leaves or not.  If trees decide to keep their leaves then they will die and once spring comes again, the tree will soon die also.   This is why every fall, leaves fall from trees.  

          It is almost impossible to record how much service is going on in the world.  But we do have recorded that there are over 55,000 full-time LDS missionaries and over 22,000 part-time church-service missionaries worldwide in 2011!  My boyfriend (who I have been dating for almost two years) is going to be one more missionary out in the field!  Just like a leaf falling from a tree, Colton (my boyfriend) decided to "cut" himself off from the world to serve for two years.  He has decided to leave the tree so that it doesn't die.  By doing this, he will better lives of many, including his own.  This is why worthy young men serve a mission when they are 18 for two years. 

      I know that I am not the only girl out there with a boyfriend leaving on a mission or even a close friend who is leaving.  I decided that I want to blog about how I overcome these next two years.